The mid-term report card

With hockey taking a backseat to the seasonal festivities for a few more days at least, Southern Fried takes a break from the Roses and the turkey sandwiches to take the pulse of the season so far and hand out some mid-season gongs

The Having Trouble Carving the Turkey Award: The loss of Gash brothers Richie and Eddie has seriously blunted the Cork Harlequins attack this term, and their lack of firepower could wreck their ambitions on the national stage by February if the malaise isn’t remedied soon. They looked like they’d turned a corner when Dave Egner inspired them to a splendid 4-2 Peard Cup quarter-final win over C of I, with three of the goals coming from play, but have been uncharacteristically off-colour since. The Farmers Cross men were out of sorts in the 4-1 home IHL loss to Glenanne – although that can be partially attributed to the absence of Paul Lombard – and worryingly toothless in the 1-0 Peard Cup win over Bandon, a game in which they wasted 12 short corners and countless chances from play. Geert Fromme’s return to Holland next month will rob them of another forward outlet, and while Lombard and Egner, with superb support from Mark Black and Sean Nicholson, are still creating plenty of circle penetrations, it seems there is no-one there to finish them off like Richie Gash used to. They will be hoping things begin to click ahead of the tough opening ISC assignment at a resurgent Instonians, while their IHL ambitions rest solely on defeating Annadale at Harlequin Park on January 31.

John Jermyn has been scoring drag-flicks for fun since his return to Cork C of I. Picture: Adrian Boehm

The Could Drag A Lake On His Own Award: All those associated with Garryduff breathed a sigh of relief when John Jermyn decided to confine his Dutch sabbatical to a single season, and the seasoned Irish international has been roofing the drag-flicks for fun since his return. Just ask Bandon, who competed well against C of I earlier in the season but still lost 8-0, largely thanks to the five flicks Jermyn fizzed past Ian Hosford; he even added one from play for good measure. However, Jermyn’s short-corner prowess has also highlighted the primary chink in C of I’s armour – they appear to be too reliant on the set-piece as a goal source. While Jermyn netted two of his three chances against Quins in the Peard Cup, his side still lost 4-2 due to Quins’ ruthlessness from play that day. And Banbridge gave him just one chance – saved by Gareth Lennox -  in the IHL in November, a game the northerners won 2-1. C of I proved in the 6-2 defeat of Fingal they can find the net from play (and in style, too) when they are on song, but they must start to do it more often – the ISC tie at Antrim, despite involving a serious trek, should give them a decent chance to get their collective eye in. An honourable mention in this category must go to UCC’s Audrey O’Flynn, who has discovered a penchant for the spectacular this season and is one of the few creditable dead-eye drag-flickers in the women’s game in these parts.

The These Girls Need Therapy Award: Should the girls of UCC miss out on silverware – or even IHL qualification – again this season, it would be no surprise if they emigrated en masse to the Caribbean and commenced a ceremonial burning of C of I jerseys on a beach bonfire. The Rochestown side appear to have done a deal with the devil for their games against College, having recorded five single-goal wins over them in the past two seasons, a timeframe that has also seen the students shatter Quins’ eight-year invincibility. Last term, 2-1 and 1-0 victories for C of I ousted College from the automatic IHL places, while a Rebecca Sweetnam golden goal decided the Munster Senior Cup final in their favour. This time around, Grace Young’s late winner gave them a 1-0 win at the ‘Duff, while Mel Ryan repeated the last-ditch heroics at the Mardyke a week ago to win 3-2. The sides meet again in the last eight of the Munster Senior Cup on January 3, but College’s hopes of fielding a full-strength team for the first time against C of I have again been dashed as the game comes too soon for Sarah Gray, who is on the mend after a serious knee injury. College are long overdue a victory here, but C of I would take no greater pleasure than extending the hoodoo for another season.

C of I's Amy Roberts and Grace Young celebrate Mel Ryan's (7) goal against UCC. The Garryduff girls have defeated the students by a single goal in each of their past five meetings. Picture: Eoin Tyrrell

The How The Hell Did That Happen Award: Things are tight at the bottom of the women’s Division One, with four teams locked on five points, a situation that is all the more worrying for those looking over their shoulders as promotion-chasing Waterford blaze a trail in Division Two. Ashton finished bottom of the pile last time around but staved off relegation as Catholic Institute’s B team topped the second tier. They are in trouble again this term, having played two games more than the three teams above them, but they looked set to give themselves breathing space at home to UL a few weeks ago until it all went Pete Tong. Emma Harrington’s brace had them 2-0 to the good, and when Orla O’Donovan cancelled out Laura Peters’ reply, they seemed to be coasting at 3-1. But Peters set up a nervy finale with her second with ten minutes to go, and the Bandon native fired home another with just 30 seconds to go to claim a share of the spoils for UL. While Ashton only dropped a point, they handed two vital ones to their rivals, a result that they may yet rue come the business end of the season.

The We Could Have Been Brilliant Award: The odds seemed stacked against Bandon in last Friday’s Peard Cup final as they attempted to become the first club outside the ‘big two’ to win the trophy in 23 years. Missing Clinton Sweetnam and Andrew Kingston, the westies also ceded advantage to Cork Harlequins beforehand by sportingly agreeing to play the tie at Harlequin Park. Things looked ominous when John Hobbs rattled the woodwork early on, but the goal-fest never materialised, and Bandon visibly grew in confidence the longer it remained scoreless. Ali Smith epitomised their efforts, blocking short corner attempts at one end and giving Jason Black and Hobbs an uncomfortable afternoon at the other with some fearless slalom dribbling. A nicely-worked move down the right with Darren Sweetnam eight minutes from time gave former Ireland U18 man Smith a one-on-one with Chris Daunt, but Rob Hobbs did just enough to put him off as he wound up his renowned reverse. Dan Hobbs did the necessary at the other end with two minutes to go, allowing Harlequin Park to breathe a collective sigh of relief, while Bandon were left to ponder what might have been.

UCC skipper Jean Long was one of four players injured in a bruising derby encounter with CIT at the intervarsities. Picture: Adrian Boehm

The We’re All Going Home In An Ambulance Award: Intervarsity competitions are traditionally a recipe for injury disaster, what with experienced Irish internationals coming up against ankle-hackers with two left feet who have been out on the piss until an hour before the game. Things weren’t quite that mismatched when the girls of CIT attempted to halt the UCC juggernaut, but the Mardyke ladies still came off worse in a physical derby encounter – Emma Peters and Orla Crowley suffered facial injuries, skipper Jean Long hobbled offf with a bruised shin while Vicky O’Sullivan had to be taken to hospital with a suspected shattered ankle which mercifully was only heavily bruised. To make things worse for College, they went on to lose the final to UCD, denying them a Chilean Cup three-in-a-row.

The Reffing Good Show Award: Clichéd and all as it has become, umpires in all sports take a serious amount of flak, and hockey is no exception, so Southern Fried wants to give credit where it’s due and doff its cap to the best umpiring performances we’ve seen this term. First up is Chris McConkey, who deserves immense credit for his handling of a potentially explosive Quins vs Glenanne clash in the IHL. All of the flashpoint incidents – which were inevitable given the bad blood between the teams – seemed to occur near his tramline, and he endured some serious abuse from players and spectators alike. But McConkey stuck to his guns and liberally applied common sense. Bar greens for David Lombard and Graham Shaw, he kept his cards in his pocket, knowing a flurry of yellows and reds would only have caused simmering tensions to boil over. Kudos also to Simon McAllister and Andrew Gray for their exemplary handling of the Peard Cup final – a superb display of communication and co-operation.

The ‘I Don’t Belieeeeeeeeeeve It’ Award: There’s been plenty of goals to sit back and admire in Munster this term. Andy Herbert’s diving effort from the edge of the circle for C of I against Fingal is up there, while the Peard Cup meeting of C of I and Quins brought two gems from the latter; Sean Nicholson supplied the finish after a superb dummied short corner drag from Dan Hobbs, while Dave Egner’s dinked effort finished off a flowing move later on. Southern Fried was also impressed by Nick Burns’ deflection on the turn in C of I’s IJC clash with Quins, and Aoife Duggan’s solo strike in the women’s competition for Ashton against Clontarf. But none have bettered Jennifer Lyttle’s wondergoal in Munster colours at the U18 interpros against Leinster. Her first touch was a beaut, taking her past Orla Fox on halfway, but the Villiers girl still had plenty to do. She looked to have gone too wide on the left and was running out of pitch, but acrobatically threw herself at the ball and rifled a diving reverse into the opposite top corner from a near-impossible angle. It was a once in a lifetime goal, but we’re sure to be hearing more from the Munster U18 skipper in the near future.

Munster's Jennifer Lyttle (centre) celebrates her wondergoal against Leinster with team-mate Olivia Roycroft. Picture: Rachel McSharry

The Anthony Foley Bitterness Award: Munster rugby talisman and all-round legend Foley likes to mention the ‘bitterness’ that motivates the province’s drive and determination, and anyone who watched the 2006 Heineken Cup semi-final thumping of Leinster (You didn’t? Where were you?!) knows that there’s few better feelings than watching our Dublin brethren being downed by the culchie jackeens from the south. Which is why Southern Fried was delighted to get that warm fuzzy feeling earlier this year thanks to Munster U18 boys; they may not have won the interpros outright, but they’ll be slow to forget their shock 2-1 win over a star-studded Leinster outfit. Proving that there’s no substitute for teamwork, our lads recovered from going behind to an Andrew Shekleton goal, with Stephen Swanton and Fionn O’Leary – the latter in the dying minutes, typical Munster – doing the damage, gladdening the souls of many in this part of the world in the process.

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